Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." ~A.A. Milne
The only thing about blogging I despise is actually sitting down and typing out a post. It takes me hours to get out what I want to say and make it sound coherent and not like a 4 year old wrote it. Actually, Camerin makes things sound more interesting than I do half the time. I wish I had that kid's imagination and story-telling abilities.
This weekend was filled with many fun and thought-provoking moments. I haven't had a weekend like this in a long time. It started with Thursday, when I met up with a friend from middle school/high school whose boys I'll be babysitting starting next week. Something came up and I ended up watching them for an hour and a half. I must have done something right because later the 5 year old, Kyle, told his mom that he was gonna buy me jewelry and marry me and live in his own house. It was very flattering to say the least. I even made an impression on her 3 year old, Kaden. He just had dental surgery and has to relearn to talk around his new teeth, so much of his speech wasn't entirely clear to me. However, his mom told me he liked me because he kept bringing different toys up and showing them to me.
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust
Later that night, after much debate with myself, I drove out to Cellarz 93 in temecula to celebrate Geoff's birthday. Sheila, Michael, Shanti and Zack were there, which made me happy I decided to go after all. Shanti invited Michael and I to go see the midnight premiere of The Hobbit and we accepted. I was sure it was sold out but the theatre wasn't even packed. Anyway, it was a good movie and overall fun night with two people I adore.
Saturday was Adam and Roxxanne's Christmas party. Per Adam's request, I made my famous chocolate chip cookies. They really are amazing. Anyway, it was an extremely awesome night that included many, MANY white elephant gifts (due in large part to Adam and Roxxanne) and lots of laughter. There is a 22 minute video of me opening the Gift from Hell, which turned out to be two cans of beets. I think the wounds on my fingers will last longer.
The party lasted till around 1am but my insomnia kicked in and I could not sleep. Stephen fell asleep around 1:30-2 and that left me chatting with Roxxanne and Adam for a bit till Roxxanne decided to go to bed. Adam and I ended up having a heart to heart till 5am and it took me back to our conversations in my car, in the In-and-Out and MSJC parking lots, till the wee hours in the morning. I realized that I really miss him and I hate that I haven't made much time (or effort) in the past 5 years to hangout. He informed me that he and Roxxanne won't be in the area for much longer, due to needing to move to a state where he can pursue acting in professional theatres. As happy as I am for the both of them, I can't help but be a little sad. I've been so wrapped up in my own life and with friendships that don't mean near as much that I haven't put forth any effort and soon they won't be there. But it felt so good to really express myself and every little worry I have and know that he wasn't judging me or contradicting. I think I was at a point where I teared up, but if he noticed he didn't say anything.
There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
At 5am he could barely keep his eyes open while I was wide awake. I told him to go to bed and pretty much just sat there for an hour thinking, then Stephen woke up. We had a long conversation about relationships and we talked about Adam and Roxxanne leaving, and how he was gonna be in the area for about 8 more months before he joins the Peace Corps and proceeded to tell me his reason for joining when I asked. Really great conversation and I barely know the guy. I actually talked about things I wasn't even comfortable discussing with Adam. Strange how we can spill our guts to someone who is a complete stranger compared to someone else. Then we cleaned up from the party and talked more till Roxxanne woke up around 9am. An hour later, I left to go home and sleep for a few hours.
I ended up seeing The Hobbit again, this time in Imax 3D. I honestly didn't see much of a difference. However, the company was different. When I saw it with Shanti and Michael, we talked, laughed and made comments during then afterwards there was a brief "What did you think of the movie?" and then I dropped Shanti off at home and Michael off at his car before I drove home. When I saw it with Adam, Roxxanne and Stephen, there was no talking during and afterward there was a full- blown discussion about the movie and the series in general. I offered a couple opinions but opted to remain quiet because I'm more of a listener than a talker. No one believes me when I say I'm actually really quiet. I guess I just don't put a lot of thought into a movie when I see it. I either liked it or I didn't.
In other news, I'm impatiently waiting to hear back about that job I applied for a week ago. I'm trying to remain optimistic because they said they were casting crew in the next couple weeks but I can't help but think the worst. Zack said they'd be stupid not to hire me. Michael said I was the best for it and it was mine, and even said he was gonna punch this guy, who asked skeptically what my chances of getting it were, when I got the job. They're both very sweet for being so positive and I love them for it. I just wish I could think such things. I sent a follow up email and still have yet to receive even a confirmation response. This job would just change everything for me and open up doors. I feel like a cat who has a string dangled in front of me and every time I go to grasp it it's yanked away. Of course I used a cat analogy...
To sum up, my heart is currently content. My mind, maybe not so much.
-Me
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