I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while.- Ellen Page, Juno
That statement rings so true at the moment. I arrived home last night from Idyllwild and just felt this wave of serenity wash over me. It's not always the best or most exciting place to be, but it's home. I can be myself here, watch what I like, eat and drink what I like and, best of all, my kitties love me no matter what I do or look like.
I spent the weekend with my lovely friend Diane and her husband, Nick. Diane is just a doll and I adore her. It was very easy to spend a couple days with her. Her husband, on the other hand, was over-bearing, arrogant and downright unpleasant. He questioned me about my makeup artistry ("But is that what you want to do? As a career?"), he inquired about my family and was very judgemental about my 23 year old sister having a 4 year old, and basically called me fat. "You're very pretty, you could be a model with your stunning features but with that bad fat from the high fructose corn syrup hanging on to you..." This is not the exact conversation but that about sums it up. Mind you, we had this over lunch. As I was eating. Imagine how I feel. The guy had an opinion about everything. He assumed that because of my age I knew nothing about classical music (he's a musician) and that, because I didn't have a piano in my house growing up, that I wasn't as intelligent.
That's definitely not all I have to say on the man, but I'll leave it at that. At our cast party saturday night, I was asked by a castmate what I thought of him. The general opinion is the same as mine. My friend Danny, god bless him, got all chivalrous and as he was leaving, told Nick that he "should know better than call that girl fat" then walked out. Luckily, he didn't put two and two together and figured out it was me he was talking about. That would have been a grueling ordeal, considering I was staying at his house. So anyway, I opted to not stay another night and drive home after the show sunday. I couldn't do another night/morning of vegan food and lectures.
Since it came up, I don't know how my Vegan friends do it. The food is so bland and unsatisfying. Plus, it smells horrible. I swear the salsa I had yesterday tasted like Pinesol. I was hungry all weekend. Today has been spent stuffing my face with cheesy bread and pizza leftover from last night. I guess it takes a lot of discipline and willpower...both of which I don't possess. More power to you, Vegans.
My current dilemna (if you can really call it that) is dealing with being blown off. I'm not used to being blown off. Hell, I'm not even sure if I'm being blown off. All I know is I sent two texts (because I'm a pansy and won't just call) and there has been no response. Already feeling stupid, I sent a third a bit ago...stating how stupid I must be for even texting again after no response but is everything okay? Nothing.
Now, I don't know why our plan didn't work out and I don't care about that. It's not like it was a date or anything. I just want to know he's okay. Maybe your phone is dead. Fine. But you could send a message through facebook. I wish it didn't bother me so much. I wish I could just say screw it, but I can't. He's my friend. I want a response. Even a "Fuck off and leave me alone". Hey, at least I got the message. Ugh. I'm such a girl.
I went back to Starbucks to give the cute guy my number, but he wasn't working. Since I'm not much of a Starbucks drinker as it is and the location isn't exactly in "drive-by" distance, I guess it's not gonna happen. He didn't have a nametag on (or at least a visable one) so I couldn't just leave my card with someone to give to him. "Can you give this to the cute guy with the reddish-colored pompadour?" Sounds so sophisticated. All I know about the guy is he, in his own words, is "a boring 20 year old who just uses his phone to check the stock market". Super. I can't even facebook stalk him. Oh, well. It was nice to know that based on my looks alone, I got a free drink and a short but sweet (even if shy), flirty conversation. Sometimes a girl likes to know she's attractive. Sure, I know guys who think I'm attractive but it's nice coming from a cute stranger.
Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.- J.K. Simmons, Juno
Juno. I love that movie. It's so funny, wonderfully weird and heartfelt. Hence why both quotes are from it. Ellen Page is amazing. That's why she's my choice to play me in a movie based on my life. And J.K. Simmons in that movie as her father. That line is one of my favorite lines in cinematic history. Maybe it isn't profound or inspirational, but it speaks to the heart.
...Well, mine anyway. I've always been a little weird
-Me
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